So what’s the back story. Well, against all my intuition, I decided to go on a date or two after being divorced for three years. Out the gate, this ‘ish has been super interesting. First, I underestimated what being an 40 year old mom of twins, doctorate student, full time professional and jack of all crafting would mean in the dating sphere. I also forgot how super duper elusive and introverted I am and how that would offend some people. My bad, I should have remembered because then this happened.
I somehow convinced myself to go on a few dates with people. You know the traditional way. A friend introduces you to a friend. You meet someone at some sketchy community event, or you simply get cat called walking down the street. Whatever the case, you are so desperate for a break from dating your seven year old sons, that you actually throw caution to the wind and take them up on their weak and tired ass offer. I should’ve known better, because then this happened.
One date, in particular, stands out from the rest. I met this dude on a Wednesday, went to dinner that Friday and by Saturday afternoon I was getting my second divorce. Like you, I was wondering what the hell happened. Without any bias I will tell you what briefly occurred. The date lasted about two hours and then we went our separate ways. The next day, , I get up at 6:00 AM, get my coffee, run errands and buy supplies for my next craft project. At 1:00 PM I receive a text. It says, “Hello.” I responded “Hi.” The next text said, “Really?”. I didn’t how to reply, so I didn’t. First mistake. By this time I am driving in my car and have just picked up the twins. So texting wasn’t going to happen. Then a call came through. I am driving, so of course I didn’t pick up. Then calls two, three, and five came. I didn’t answer any of them. Besides operating a vehicle with my kids in it, I did not answer because I knew there was going to be some discussion because in between those calls, I received a text that was filled with a bit of anger and animosity, as well as accusations of “ignoring his calls.” I don’t do those calls in front of my kids. Period. Apparently one of my 99 problems. Well anyway, I sent a text in response to his accusations. I simply stated, “I have the boys. I can’t talk right now. I understand your worry, but we only met a week ago. Relax and let me get to know you.” Again, one of 99 problems. He didn’t quite understand what I was saying. Being the pleasant person I can be at times, I returned his call when I could talk. I was informed that his issue was that I send “dead texts” as he called them. He was also offended that I had not sent a text saying I had a “great time last evening,” when I responded, “I just met you,” I was handed my ass on a silver platter. I spent about ten minutes listening to how I was a bitter woman because of men and that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. Given how silly I am, I laughed. This response was not helpful at all. Another one of my 99 problems.
In the past, I totally would have offered him a complete tongue thrashing, laced with some academia and mix of hood and a side of sarcasm. But since I am on this new ‘ish, like being all mindful and spiritual and stuff, I just said, “Okay, I get it. It doesn’t work for you. We can be friends.” He hung up on me (very angry). And I continued about my day.
I don’t know what the hell happened but despite his grand insight into my lifelong single status, I would have to respectfully disagree. I definitely got some issues. I have a touch of anger, yes. I am definitely guarded, yes. I too have some baggage, yes. Hell we all do. But being single is definitely not a problem for me. I can write a thesis on that. But I will briefly say, I got a bunch of problems, but being single ain’t one because I am completely okay with having a date or two and that shit not leading me to move you in and have you around my damn kids. I am completely okay with one date and going my separate way. I am completely okay with only allowing a man in my space who can rock my damn world. And if I went on a date with you and I didn’t call you the next morning to elevate your deflated ego, then you are one of my problems, but being single definitely ain’t one of them.