I would say forgive yourself, but that doesn’t really apply here because I don’t believe you have anything to forgive yourself for.

Every day we are confronted with numerous situations in which we make a choice. We get out of bed, we get dressed, we leave our homes and go about our day. We meet people. We reach out to people we already know. We go to work. We take on tasks; old and new. We stretch and bend ourselves. We try something new. We talk to someone with a different world view. We engage in dialogue, we sit quiet. All of this. In every moment we are choosing. Choosing what to say, what not to say. What to eat, who to talk to, who not to talk to. Which direction to go, or not to go at all. We have absolutely no idea what will happen in the next moment after we make any of these choices. And that is the beautiful, yet scary reality of our existence. In everything we do, we do not know what the outcome will be.

Yet, we believe we know and we have assumed that all things will just happen exactly the way we plan them to happen. So in those times when we make difficult choices — and things do not work out as planned, we occupy our minds with thoughts of what we should’ve done, could’ve have done, or will do next time.


You did the best you can, with what you have, and that is all that you can ever do. So don’t forgive yourself, just be comfortable being human; knowing that you will muck up, screw up, fall down, and get back up again.

Be Kind to Yourself.

Unapologetic Black Woman, Policy Professional, Activist, Lover of Politics, Mom of Twins, Doctoral Student, Writer

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